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So, I was sitting in French class this morning, among my many intelligent (by the school board’s standards) friends. This being a class which makes many teachers consider us far above and beyond most other students as we all took the initiative to study a second language in a program that calls for studying a whole lot more than most second language classes. Anyway, that’s not really the big thing.
But the entirety of this period was spent discussing this article in some unheard-of, wholly uncared for teacher’s magazine about enrichment students.
Now, I’ve been an enrichment student/smart kid/loser-who-only-knew-stuff-because-she-spent-what-time-she-would-have-with-friends-(had such things existed at the time)-in-the-library, what have you, for as long as I can remember. My friends, as we sit in enrichment meetings, barely listening because there is scarcely anything to be heard, have explained to me that apparently we took some test, of which I’ve obviously forgotten, back when we thought thirty year olds were ancient beings from the very beginning of time itself.
And I can’t help but think, looking around at my friends, that they were wrong to put me there. Maybe I’m having major Colin Singleton syndrome because I seem to have failed whatever “smart kid” potential I seemed to have had, or maybe I’m just too hard on myself sometimes, but I feel so out of place with that label.
I mean, I know for certain I’m not stupid, and I can’t help but look around me most days and wonder if everyone else is, but I look at the people I spend time around and I feel so… average in comparison. Like any hard work I may put into trying to be intelligent just makes me as good as those people who don’t care in the least and fly by with an eighty-five average.
And don’t even get me started on those three girls who don’t seem to have a lick of common sense yet and probably don’t know their own asses from their heads half the time yet still seem to top every class.
I just don’t feel like I stand anywhere on the whole spectrum of academia.
I mean, you spend all of public school being told you’re this bright, brilliant and full of potential person and then end up being lost among the masses in high school and I doubt college is going to be any better. It’s sort of disheartening. Because everyone seems to have their one thing, that one area that they’re known for, that they’re good at, and mine sort of feels like it’s slipping through my fingers more and more.
I feel I’m becoming more and more average and it’s sort of terrifying because if I’m not a “smart kid” anymore, what the hell am I going to be?
I want to be something. And this something was a something that I liked and I don’t want to not be it anymore.
School, why must you always get in the way of writing?
A little rough back story for Molly (from my zombie apocalypse project.) Not sure if I’m going to put it in this project I have to hand in, but all the same, here goes.
So, this is the rough draft for a project I’m working on for my Writer’s Craft class.
So commences part one of Lily’s Bad Zombie Apocalypse Novella.
A short story written ages ago that, in retrospect, I need to edit quite a bit, but here goes anyway.
Anyway, since I write so much that just seems to gather up dust in a corner, I’m going to post them here.
Anything from legitimate blogs (which I suppose this site was made for in the first place), fanfiction, other fiction, essays, character analysis things, and really whatever I feel like posting here.
Some will be finished, some unfinished. This is all just more for the sake of watching, hopefully, myself become a better writer.
Essentially.
